It has been 2 weeks since my return to “reality”, gone are the days of laying in bed till noon but it’s for the best I was starting to feel trapped and it is good to be moving forward with my career. again I can honestly say I spent my time in lockdown being productive and I am very thankful that I did. I have gained a sense of pride from knowing that I empowered myself through education and exercise rather then fall into the consumerist pit of idle modernity.
As I am still being forced out of my life in Meatspace, I have taken it upon myself to dedicate my time to mastering cyberspace. One aspect of mastering the techno-sphere is to free yourself of megacorp spyware, more on that later, for now an update.
My skill with python has come along way since my last post I have been practising daily and treat it as if it were a regimented exercise routine since I know the only way to truly learn python is to make it second nature, I don’t practice for long maybe an hour of my time but that is enough to keep the language fresh in my mind.
In my last post I chronicled how I took up Linux as my primary operating system, this is still the case and my relationship with Linux is going strong, but I desire more liberty so I have gone further. I have to take control of my data. The only way to do that is to limit the interactions I experience with data mining conglomerates. This is a difficult task in this half hearted dystopia but I believe I have found a way.
GrapheneOS, a custom OS for android devices that completely removes all google features, including the play store. Instead offering the user a wide selection of open source applications through f-driod. I highly recommend Graphene to those of you that are privacy minded.
The year is 2020, and humanity is in the grip of a global pandemic that has brought the whole of modernity to its knees. I am currently isolating myself from the rest of the species. Only venturing to the outerworld for food, alcohol and exercise. This kind of existence is not new to me so i am managing quite well. I have numerous tasks to keep myself busy. Video games, anime, reading, model kits, online forums & chat rooms, but the most helpful has been developing my IT skills.
Last week I formatted my laptop and did a fresh install of Ubuntu. I have used ubuntu previously but as a dual boot. This time i am going all the way so i have no other option then to use it, since when i had it as a dual boot alongside windows I would just stick to windows. This time I am giving myself no other option then to get used to linux. And it is going well so far. Linux to my surprise is a very enjoyable operating system. It feels very elegant and minimal compared to windows. A comparison I have in my head is that linux is like quake compared to windows which is like call of duty.
Along with installing ubuntu I have started to teach myself to code, starting with python. Programming is something I’ve always wanted to learn and since I am being forced to sit in my room all day, I might as well take this golden opportunity to sit in my room all day & teach myself to code.
It has been a bizarre decade, I mostly spent it cuddled up behind a computer, weaving my way through the wired, taking in the sights and sounds of virtual worlds, a lot of fun can be had behind a computer screen and I did have a lot of fun but now with the new decade approaching it’s time for change.
Over the last 6 months I have led what I would consider to be an active lifestyle. Before I wanted nothing more than to stay in my room and escape my grim reality through various media & online trawling. Don’t get me wrong escapism is perfectly healthy but living purely for escapism is not. Living this way has hindered my social skills and distorted my personality.
That way of life is over for me, for a long time I neglected my physical being instead chose to only exist as a virtual entity. It is as if my mind and body were disconnected, over the last 5 years I have worked towards reconnecting the two. The internet has given me so much and I am very thankful to the powers that be which have allowed me to live in the information age. Without the internet, I wouldn’t have found my niche hobbies and interests that makes me such a unique personality, but the character of a man is not defined by his taste in japanese cartoons it is defined by his actions.
Hello World, my life in meatspace is going well not much to report. Keeping active and working hard both physically and mentally I’ve been doing online classes to increase my techskills to help with my future career as well as getting involved in judo. I want to get into shooting too. I’ve also had plenty of time to chill out and socialize in the real world as well as fuck around on my computer.
Now that’ my life out the way, like I said before there is not much to report so instead let me talk to you about something else.
When most people ask me what is my favourite film I typically respond with the matrix or bladerunner and although they are both fantastic films that I enjoy emenously neither is my true favourite movie that title belongs to the 1981 adaption of the arthurian myth, Excalibur. Excalibur isn’t an especially great film the pacing is terrible, the acting is hammy and the plot could be considered confusing to those not familiar with the legend of King Arthur. Most people aren't familiar with the film and if they are they are often surprised.
Excalibur holds a special place in my heart, each time I watch it I get transported to another world, once the sword is thrown back into the lake and the film is finished, I want to start from the beginning again so I can stay in this other world abit longer. I don’t feel this way about any other movie, and for this reason excalibur is precious to me.
For the last 2 weeks I’ve been back in my hometown and I've come to the conclusion that there really isn't much for me here.I wanted to enjoy my time back home but it’s just reinforced my desire to push forward. The problem isn’t the town itself, it’s that I don’t have much of a social life here, apart from my family, I don’t have many people here to spend time with, in the past I’ve never had many friends, my interests are niche and I've often found myself becoming the outcast but I enjoy being the outcast it’s a role im happy to play.
Being an outcast is empowering you aren't beholden by the expectations of others, you don’t have to put on a false persona to fit in. you can truly live for yourself. But it is lonely. I don’t really want to be a loner, I don’t want to be alone, loneliness isn’t something I enjoy, I want to have friends, I want to get along with everybody but I also I just want to be myself, and if given the choice between the two I chose the latter.
Tomorrow I’m leaving my hometown again to embark on the next chapter in my life, I’ll find myself in a new environment, with new people. Maybe here things will be different.
Today is my birthday
Hello netizens it has been a long time. I rediscovered this site by accident while searching for my online alias [REDACTED] on google. now that I have found it I again I will do my best to update it regularly. I’ll summarize to you the key events in my life that have transpired since my last activity but first I would like to apologise for my absence and thank you all for the fantastic feedback that I have received for this little web page I made 4 years ago. Now let's get started.
Much has changed over the years but what has changed the most is myself. Back in 2015 I was an obese unemplyed anti-social shut in. The term a lot of people use is hikikomori but I feel that using a forgein name glamorizes something that should never be glamorized. To put it plainly I was a loser. And in the years gone by I’ve made a great effort to get myself out of the situation that I found myself in at the start of my 20s and for the most part I have succeeded far beyond even my own expectations.
There was once a time when the thought of leaving my house filled me with dread, afraid of the judgment & assumptions made by passing strangers. So I would spend my days at my computer desk flipping through cyberspace, playing games, watching anime and whatever else took my fancy. The internet is an amazing invention and I have a profound love for it, hence why my new career path is in networking but my relationship towards the www back then was a destructive obsession rather than the self-actualizing love I have today.
What led to this drastic change in lifestyle? Was there a life changing milestone, maybe a near death experience or a spiritual awakening. Honestly I don't remember, logic tells me something extreme must have happened since change like that doesn't just occur, or maybe it does maybe as time went on I slowly morphed into a new person. All I know for certain is that it came from within, there was no intervention, no one forced me to change. I wasn't told by the parents to change my ways or else they would disown me and there certainly wasn’t a cute girl offering herself to me if only I ceased my bad habits.
The desire & determination came from within. I felt within the core of my being that I wasn’t living my life correctly and I sought to mend that. I monitored what I ate and began to exercise, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone into situations that would scare me knowing that doing so would strengthen my resilience and resolve. This mindset that I have cultivated and maintained over the years is my greatest trait. It has become the core of my new identity and I hope it persists throughout the rest of my life.
Now that I have returned to the cyber_realm you can look forward to hearing more of my past and future endeavors and believe me I will have many stories to share. I have enjoyed writing this journal entry and I hope you have enjoyed reading it.
I recently got back into swimming which was something I used to be quite fond of as a child, I was even in my school swimming team back in primary school but I only competed once and even then I came dead last but at least I received a participants medal! In my defence I was told to swim breaststroke which was my least favourite stroke.
It was around that time I stopped swimming but it had nothing to do with losing at that swimming meet infact I lost intreast in swimming before that happend. you see at the swimming club the pool was divided into lanes where all the kids swim at simmilar speeds, once a kid started to move faster than the other kids in the lane they would be moved into the next lane. so that's what happend to me, every few months I would be moved into a new lane. until I reached a point where I wasn't getting faster, I just stayed at the same speed, this made me really frustrated espeically because in the next lane you would be taught how to dive and how to swim butterfly.
That experince made me resent swimming and until recently I hadn't been in a siwmming pool for 8 years! which is insane to think about since I love swimming. I'm not as good as I was as a kid since I'm a fat fuck but I still have good technique with front, back and breast. sadly I never learnt how to swim butterfly nor how to dive but hopfully in the future I can learn.
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